One of the factors that makes for unhealthy relationship is selfish or self centered motives. A relationship very much involves the quality of giving and sharing. When one seeks to use another person to his or her needs then that cannot be a healthy relationship.we tend to use others and are only interested in them so long as they conform to the image we have of them. In such a situation
the relationship then can be said to be unconditional. Relationship says, "i will only love you if..." A conditional relationship is what can be called a contract. The basis of interaction is the contract. There are some people who will act as though they are interested in you only to get what they want, once they have it you served their purpose. Then they lose interest in you.
I a relationship that seeks to build each other, LOVE should be unconditional. This is to say there no expectation, but the relationship is not buiilt on those expectations. For example parents should love their child no matter what the child does. One may not approve of certain acts and indeed parents have the duty to displine and rebuke where need but one needs to realise that the love should be unconditional, "Chakubala Chimasanzitsa? Obereka amanyasidwa?
(Does what one gives birth to make one vomit? Does the one who gives birth feel bad about it?)
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